Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Tuesday is Eating Disorder Day

I went to group today. We spent most of the time on our check-ins. It seems that I am not the only one who is having problems keeping my journal. Almost all of us are having problems. I'm not sure if I found that reassuring or not. We all have the assignment this week to do at least one day of food journaling. We're going to go over the journals next week.

I talked about how difficult it is to give up the idea of losing weight. If you are a woman who is 50 pounds overweight and never think about losing weight, please, let me know.

I got some help with my delusion that I'm gaining 10 pounds in a week. I thought weighing myself once a week, same day, same time, same situation, would help with my obsession. Instead, I start thinking that I am gaining weight. I chose Thursday as my weigh day, but by Tuesday, I'm frantic. I'm sure my weight is way up. It was suggested that it might be better for me to weigh (almost) every day. So I'm going to start doing that.

Currently, I'm not purging, but I'm thinking about it. I'm probably always thinking about it. I know it would be unhealthy. I know it. I know it. I want to weigh myself in the morning, after emptying my bladder, naked, before eating, and after pooping. It's the after pooping part that is causing me angst.


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