Monday, September 27, 2004

Not Much Energy

I haven't been sewing much. I think part of the problem is that making a monkey costume jsut isn't that inspiring. Another issue is that I'm suffering from depression ... and an eating disorder. Things that I've long suspected, but I didn't get any help until things have become almost unmanageable. Part of the disease is that I have zero energy, and it's gotten so bad that I don't have energy to sew.

After a long stint of not sleeping through the night, my son seems to have settled back in. He's made it through the night 3 nights in a row. I think that sleep deprivation has been adding to the problem. Poor baby, he's been sick with colds for the past couple of months, and he just gets so uncomfortable that he wakes up.

I also gave up caffiene ... well, almost. I'm down to one cup first thing in the morning. I've cut back from drinking a pot and a half (like 18 cups). I'm planning on cutting the caffinate coffee with decaf. We'll see. My therapist said that caffiene is the first thing they tell you to cut out when you have an eating disorder and that it's not helping the depression. She thinks I was selfmedicating with caffiene. The problem with that is that you need more and more and more and more caffiene to get the same lift, and you always experience a crash. So, I'm down to that one cup. What's really sad about this is that I have to give up the mochas, too. There's no such thing as a decaf mocha becuase of the chocolate.

I own stock in Starbucks, so maybe some of you will take up the slack that I'm leaving. :)


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